7 Reasons That Brett Favre Will Be The Vikings QB In The 2009 NFL Season

Every year about this time you ask yourself the same question.....is it time for my yearly laxative and prune juice induced bowel cleansing? Oops, sorry wrong yearly question. I mean you ask yourself did Brett Favre retire or is he still playing or is he still playing and thinking about retiring or is he retired and thinking about playing? For those of you who missed it, Brett actually retired for the second time at the end of the '08 Jets season. So, he is currently retired and claims he is not thinking about playing. I'm sorry but that's a bold face lie in my opinion, and yes, I do have an opinion.

See you have to understand the mindset of a person like Brett Favre to see his future. Brett, as many people who reach his level of success and fame in the public eye, is an ego maniac who needs to hear the roar of a large crowd. He also needs to know that large crowd loves him and wants him to be playing. Brett is not going to be the normal guy at the party who can sit quietly and go unnoticed. No he is going to eventually get loud or do something dramatic so everyone will look at him and acknowledge him. Best displayed when he had to think of a dramatic celebration after a TD pass but it also had to include his teammates, so he picks a receiver up on his back and carries him around prompting fans and media to say "he still loves the game like a young kid". If the crowd is not loving and cheering him, then he is just Brett Favre not "still able to play, current, and in the headlines" NFL legend Brett Farve. With that said, I give you 7 reasons that Brett Favre is retired but retired and PLANNING on playing QB for the Minnesota Vikings in the '09 NFL season.

1) Brett knows he can still play. Playing football is his whole identity, without it he is just Brett or Dad or husband - he is not BRETT FAVRE football legend. He will not leave until he wins another Super Bowl, is seriously injured, or sees that he is AWFUL and no longer able to play at a high level. Last year he played well for many games, struggling toward the end of the season when it was later reported that he had a hurt shoulder. You could see it in his body language and his play, Brett knows he can still play at a high level. When healthy, his arm is still strong.

2) The Vikings wanted Brett last year and Brett wanted the Vikings last year. The Packers were the only thing that stopped it.

3) The Vikings are primed for a Super Bowl run with all the pieces of the puzzle except a Super Bowl QB. Brett has to like the idea that they have a great running game, a good offensive line to protect him, decent young receivers, and a good defense. In his view, everything, and I mean everything, is there for him to get another Super Bowl and end his legendary career in Paul Bunyon Status rather than as an irritating pimple on the rear end of the NFL, who has held on too long and wore out his welcome with some fans, media, and players.

4) Supposedly Brett is close friends with Vikings head coach Brad Childress. Remember, the Packers accused Childress of tampering with Favre before he was traded to the Jets last year. The main piece of evidence was phone calls between Childress and Favre. Childress claimed they were "friendly" calls, not business. (Update/correction - Favre is close friends with the Offensive Coordinator - Darryl Bevill, not Childress.)

5) The Vikings, unlike the Jets, run the West Coast offense which Favre knows like the back of his hand since he ran it during his entire career at Green Bay. No learning curves here, just back in that old, broke in, comfortable saddle that while riding high in he broke almost every NFL passing record.

6) Brett has a Paul Bunyon size ax to shove up....I mean grind with Ted Thompson, GM of the Packers and Mike McCarthy, head coach of the Packers. Thompson and McCarthy rushed Favre to the retirement press conference after the '07 season. The Packers' brass were ready to move on without Favre but didn't have the testicular fortitude to tell all of the Packer fans they wanted to shove the beloved Favre (including being beloved by himself) out the door. Instead they rushed Favre to retire so that they didn't look like the bad guys. As much as Favre was to blame for rushing his retirement decision, Thompson and McCarthy were to blame for not just coming clean and saying, "The Packers will be moving on without Brett Favre". Totally gutless. Well it just so happens, the Vikings play in the Packers division which means that the Vikings will play the Packers twice each season. Favre probably drools in his sleep as he dreams in his recliner that he is at Lambeau Field QBing the Vikings and pounding the Packers by some obscene score.

7) Lastly, the Jets released Favre from his contract on April 29. Just out of the clear blue sky. No reason. He was retired, which means he was placed on the Jets retired list. The Jets could not trade Favre to anyone in the Packers division, according to their trade with the Packers. If they did, the Jets would owe the Packers two first round draft choices. But again, Favre is retired. What would prompt the Jets to decide to just up and release him? It had to be Favre, through his agent, asking the Jets to let him go and it is reasonable to believe it wasn't asking but badgering until the Jets GM finally had enough.

According to Favre's agent, Favre is still retired, riding his tractor and working on his farm in Mississippi. The agent claims Favre wants to retire a Packer. HUH? You mean one of the greatest competitors in the history of pro sports has just forgotten all about how Thompson and McCarthy kicked him to the curb? Sorry, I ain't buying it and sure can't sell it. There is only one reason that Favre and his agent would continue to ask for his release and that is so he could sign with the Vikings, who he wanted to play for last year, who is primed for a Super Bowl run, who is coached by his friend Brad Childress, who run the West Coast offense that he knows as well as anyone, and who play the Green Bay Packers twice a year!

When the news is finally official, be sure to enjoy the way Favre and the Vikings point at each other when asked who contacted who first. The 2009 NFL season just got a lot more entertaining. For those of you who find the Favre to the Vikings looking to slay Packers scenario interesting, let the soap opera begin. For those of you worn out with Brett Favre and will he retire or will he play; ignore it and forget about it with that laxative and prune juice induced yearly bowel cleansing. You will be totally refreshed, at least that is what I hear. Oh, make sure you are well stocked on quality toilet paper!

The Oakland Raiders 2009 draft....more than 1 laugh!

Would someone please take away Al Davis' authority to run the Oakland Raiders. On second thought, no don't. Every year in the NFL draft Al Davis makes some of the most absurd picks. It has now become entertaining for me. I can't wait for Oakland's turn to select a player so I can not only laugh but ask how can you make that pick? Well, just when I thought it couldn't be more entertaining, Al went and outdone himself again.

This year one of the funnier things about the Raiders draft was not only the fact the Raiders took Heyward-Bey over Crabtree, but who was at the Raiders table in Radio City Music Hall in NYC. The majority of teams have these intern or future exec looking guys in there suits looking like nothing but business. Then you look at the Raiders table and low and behold there is your great grandfather's checker playing buddy. None other than Al Davis' brother at the Raiders table. God love him, (you always know something bad is going to be said after that phrase) he looked like he could hardly stay awake, was asking people on the phone to repeat themselves, and took notes like a 1st grader learning to print. Al, I understand you want to take care of family. I understand you want people you trust in important positions. But please, your franchise looks very incompetent enough with the decisions YOU make. Putting your brother, who has to be past retirement age, at the table in NY for the TV cameras to see as your organization's representation? We all know the Raiders are a joke as an organization, but now they want us to literally SEE that they are a joke.

All I can say is Thanks, Al. I enjoy the NFL draft as much and maybe more than anyone, but Al Davis has added an aspect that I thought I would never see. So during next year's draft make sure you look for the small things that Al gives us to enjoy. Sure the picks usually are great to laugh at, but you never know Al may have Bubbles the Chimp at the table submitting picks some day.